On August 25, 2012...Graham and I were blessed to see our 12th wedding anniversary. Everyone who follows Everyday Marriage, knows that that in and of itself is a miraculous feat that brings Jehovah glory, fa real.....our anniversary was a beautiful experience but not for the reasons many people will immediately think of.....
No, there was no love-making, no red roses, no champagne and strawberries.....none of that....instead his wife (me, that is), received a good hefty GUT-CHECK about the quality of my support of the man I love. Let me explain:
On Saturday Graham and I attended the funeral for his uncle, his father's twin brother Edward. The problem began because I did not want to go, nor did I plan to go...you see the relationship hasn't been all that close and I just didn't see the value so......
Leading up to the actual travel to the funeral, I had a stank attitude that would hve crushed even the strongest man....but my dear sweet husband simply said to me (when I reminded him that it was our anniversary, and he could do whatever he wanted to do, but I wasn't going) I know Meka, but I would really love to have you there with me.
Now, I hope you are paying attention here....because my last sentence is the real problem....the problem was me.....you see because of my selfishness, I didn't want to attend a funeral on my anniversary, even if it meant the world to my husband that I be by his side.....
I don't know about everyone else, but that was a straight gut-check for someone like me....it stirred something in me that made me ashamed of the way that I treat my "gift" sometimes....the man that God has given me, to love and care for me...to protect and provide for me....the man who has supported every hair-brained scheme I have ever come up with including allowing half of NWA to live in our home with our family....cost free.....
I went to the funeral with my husband, and I spent my 12th anniversary chit-chatting with his long-lost relatives, and if you could have seen the smile on that man's face, you would have thought that I had made mad, passionate love to him all night, then woke up and got back at it.....my presence there with him meant more to him than anything...
This makes me want to share something very important with wives everywhere....your anniversary isn't just about you...its the date shared by both of you that serves as a constant reminder of how in love you were those years ago....it serves as a reminder of the covenant you made with God those years ago..and the way you spend that date should always be more of a reflection of that covenant than a reflection of your wallet or pocketbook....in other words, stop focusing on what he will buy you, and focus more on what you can GIVE him....and these are the things he needs and wants the most...and guess what? They won't cost you a dime:
Loyalty, support and sexual gratification......at different times in your marriage those three will shift in importance.....give them freely and in extreme abundance.....and watch what happens between the two of you.....after just one weekend, my husband can again trust my love and loyalty, my support of him.....now that we home however......Ima have to get busy on that gratification part of the deal.....he can only live off my support for so long!!! LOL
Finally, I learned alot about myself this weekend....how selfish I really am to the person that means the most to me, and how one act of selflessness can change the atmosphere in a marriage......learn from my mistake and strive to be a better wife to the gift God has graciously shared with you....life is short and you won't know just how short until it is to late to measure........so acknowledge your husband in the top three ways he understands...you win!
No comments:
Post a Comment