WIFE: All I want to do is scream to the top of my lungs at this man.... "stop sneaking up behind me dude, kissing me on the neck while I'M TRYING TO WASH THE DISHES SO I CAN GET DINNER STARTED! Don't you understand that aint no flutter in my tummy to be intimate with you right now...I have had a long day at work, ( while you was off, and you probably slept all day,) especially since I came home to a FILTHY house only to have to drop my corporate handbag and grab my maid's apron. What is wrong with you man. If you just would have taken a pack of chicken wings out of the freezer, or vacuumed the floor, I would have dropped my corporate handbag and put on my video vixen wig.....but please, that would be too much like right.....huh??
HUSBAND: Man, I remember when we were dating, I would show up at her house with a single rose in my hand, and that girl would melt all over me...she was like putty in my hands....just one rose. I would stand behind her in the little kitchenette while she was cooking and every now and then I'd lean over and whisper something in her ear, kiss her on the neck and she loved it. Now, I can barely get a kiss out of her. She usually walks in the house and with a half-cocked "heyyyy" she put her purse down, take off her heels ( i love her in a pair of 4 inch stilettos) and immediately start a load of clothes, run some dishwater and instead of sitting down for a few minutes of "I miss you" time, she ask me what I want for dinner....it aint the same anymore...I just don't know what that girl wants from me......
Now, I realize that may not be your EXACT scenario, but some of you marrieds out there know exactly what I'm getting at. The above scenario is a real one taken from my own marriage before I read a book called the Five Love Languages. The basis of the book is this: everyone has a primary Love Language...the options are: Acts of Service, Quality Time, Gift Giving, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch....and depending upon which of the five is primary for any individual, more or less determines the way he/she will display love to others, and it also identifies what that individual will internalize as acts of love toward him/her.
I read this book 3 times because I knew that God had anointed it to transform my love relationship with my husband. Thru this book I learned several very valuable pieces of wisdom....here's a few:
1) We are all wired differently, rarely do spouses share the same primary love language
2) We are most often speaking to our spouses in our primary love language, not theirs....
3) It only takes a little effort to become bi-lingual and start communicating in your spouses native tongue.
When I realized that my husband's LL was physical touch, and that I had been communicating with him in what was basically jibberish...I sought out the Rosetta Stone of Love Languages...lol...learned how to speak physical touch and began to be the initiator in most of our moments of intimacy. While I was frying chicken, I would walk up to him while he watching the game and rub some flour on his cheek playfully, lean over and kiss him.....when i got off work, I began to come into the house and first thing I did was drop my corporate hand bag, and turn into Video Vixen Veronica and kiss my husband the way I used to when he was just my Boo Thang!...that dude started doing the laundry on his days off, I haven't cleaned the bathroom since 2009, and he cooks dinner wayyyyyyy more than I do! Do ya Feel Me???? Huh?
If you recognize that you have been communicating love to your spouse in a language he doesn't understand, pick up the Rosetta Stone or spend some time in the Love Language Lab...lol...it only takes a little while to become fluent in your spouse’ native tongue.
Invest in your marriage, learn the love language spoken by your mate and set your will to speak it as often as you can....trust me....you won't have to ask that dude or dudette to speak in yours......!!!!!
This is Everyday Marriage wisdom.....signing off!
HUSBAND: Man, I remember when we were dating, I would show up at her house with a single rose in my hand, and that girl would melt all over me...she was like putty in my hands....just one rose. I would stand behind her in the little kitchenette while she was cooking and every now and then I'd lean over and whisper something in her ear, kiss her on the neck and she loved it. Now, I can barely get a kiss out of her. She usually walks in the house and with a half-cocked "heyyyy" she put her purse down, take off her heels ( i love her in a pair of 4 inch stilettos) and immediately start a load of clothes, run some dishwater and instead of sitting down for a few minutes of "I miss you" time, she ask me what I want for dinner....it aint the same anymore...I just don't know what that girl wants from me......
Now, I realize that may not be your EXACT scenario, but some of you marrieds out there know exactly what I'm getting at. The above scenario is a real one taken from my own marriage before I read a book called the Five Love Languages. The basis of the book is this: everyone has a primary Love Language...the options are: Acts of Service, Quality Time, Gift Giving, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch....and depending upon which of the five is primary for any individual, more or less determines the way he/she will display love to others, and it also identifies what that individual will internalize as acts of love toward him/her.
I read this book 3 times because I knew that God had anointed it to transform my love relationship with my husband. Thru this book I learned several very valuable pieces of wisdom....here's a few:
1) We are all wired differently, rarely do spouses share the same primary love language
2) We are most often speaking to our spouses in our primary love language, not theirs....
3) It only takes a little effort to become bi-lingual and start communicating in your spouses native tongue.
When I realized that my husband's LL was physical touch, and that I had been communicating with him in what was basically jibberish...I sought out the Rosetta Stone of Love Languages...lol...learned how to speak physical touch and began to be the initiator in most of our moments of intimacy. While I was frying chicken, I would walk up to him while he watching the game and rub some flour on his cheek playfully, lean over and kiss him.....when i got off work, I began to come into the house and first thing I did was drop my corporate hand bag, and turn into Video Vixen Veronica and kiss my husband the way I used to when he was just my Boo Thang!...that dude started doing the laundry on his days off, I haven't cleaned the bathroom since 2009, and he cooks dinner wayyyyyyy more than I do! Do ya Feel Me???? Huh?
If you recognize that you have been communicating love to your spouse in a language he doesn't understand, pick up the Rosetta Stone or spend some time in the Love Language Lab...lol...it only takes a little while to become fluent in your spouse’ native tongue.
Invest in your marriage, learn the love language spoken by your mate and set your will to speak it as often as you can....trust me....you won't have to ask that dude or dudette to speak in yours......!!!!!
This is Everyday Marriage wisdom.....signing off!
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