What is Love?

I'm not in love with him/ her anymore.

Have any of you ever heard that saying? I have certainly heard it among many married couples experiencing difficulty in their marriages, and unfortunately I also remember hearing it from my own husband as we went through the pains of our marriage. However, as a Christian, it is vitally important that we understand the difference between the In love experience and the Real Love experience.

I am assured that everyone knows what being in love feels like,... Its the light headed feeling of bliss you get whenever that special someone is around, its the flutter in your stomach, the chill that runs up your back when you think of holding his or her hand, or maybe its the belief that they are the PERFECT man/woman...the man of your dreams, the one you could never grow irritated with....but here is an FYI for those of you that may be in that phase right now...its a phase. It is not a forever thing, because being is love is a feeling, and feelings change with the wind. Consider the same man you are in love with has now gambled away all of your rent money....consider that this same man has begun to talk to you in a negative manner. Or consider this, the same man that was so perfect for you those first 3 months, now expects you to submit to him. Not only that, but you realize now that he is arrogant and rude..he doesn't hold the door open for you, when you go out he doesn't pull put your chair before he sits down and more than that, you realize he is filthy. He leaves toothpaste all in the sink, he never lets the toilet seat down, and frankly he doesn’t appreciate anything you do.....are you still in love with him? Or have you stopped going over so much, now avoiding her phone calls...... Feelings change.....you fall in love and you fall out of love depending on how a person measures up to your standard of the IDEAL.......In stark contrast, Real love is a choice! So consider this passage of scripture:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes Real Love for us....

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Take notice that no where in that passage did it say that love feels like butterflies in your stomach. It didn't say love was the excitement you feel when he/she calls....it didn't say those things because those things are not the characteristics that Jehovah wants you to build your marriage upon. Instead, what he desires is that you build your marriage on the understanding that Love is a Choice. Christ is our best example....he made the CHOICE to go to the cross for you and I. Some people would rather think that Christ was Deity so it was a natural thing for him, but if you study the Word it tells us that he was a man just like us..he suffered the same temptations that we suffer...yet he chose the path of love.

Now consider the way Jehovah uses the bride and groom as a reference in the bible many times...Jesus is the Groom and we the bride, and he does this so that we can understand what love looks like, so that when he commands husbands to love their wives like Christ loved the church, you can understand what that is like, the commitment it must have taken to do that...He did it so that when he commanded the wives to respect their husbands, we would understand the level of respect Jesus had for the Father, in that even tho he preferred not to die, asking the Lord to remove “this” cup from him....he made a choice to fulfill the covenant. I submit to you that the most phenomenal realization one can have in marriage is this: The Christian marriage is to be a reflection of our relationship with the Father thru Christ.

The beauty of having a marriage the way God intended is this: He will give you those days when you feel the flutter in your stomach as she walks in the room; a passing smell of his cologne will make you blush..... he will allow you to be in love with your spouse because the closer you and your spouse get to Him, the more in love with him you become, the more in love you will grow with one another.

Let God have your marriage, you will never regret it!