Moved with Compassion

Compassion...whew what a big word for such a small minded person as myself....someone who is selfish, self-minded, self-serving, self self self centered as myself....as you....as your spouse...but today that is in fact what this post is all about....so read on!.

We had a beautiful afternoon togther...we ate, we laughed, we did dishes and took out the trash, and then realizing that the house was empty (our oldest daughter flew the coop a week ago, and our youngest was out doing what teenagers do on Sunday afternoons....KICKN IT! lol) we carved out some US time.   We made love in a way that was sexy and free, fresh and exciting,  loud and goofy.....just like the two of us...and it was great...then we laid in each others arms just enjoying the moment (that is until he fell asleep), recovering for round 2...

And then it happened...I made a huge mistake of doing the right thing at the wrong time. I started reading a marriage enrichment book while he hovered between wake and sleep...I then thought it a good idea to read the next chapter (entitled SEX) to him out loud....and thats when he fully checked out..which pissed me off, and before I even saw what was occurring,  the two lovers, us, still glistening from the beauty of our union, were in an adversarial stance with each other...we had instantly become the cat and dog, teeth snared, hair raised, hissing, growling spouses that we hate...

We spent the better part of 2 hours in a heated discussion about the state of our otherwise good marriage..and the longer the conversation carried on, the less abrasive my tone and words became, because all throughout that conversation God, being the God that He is, was speaking to my heart about being a Compassionate Wife.  Here are a few things God spoke to my spirit:

1. Stop trying to be right all the time, and  apologize not because he is right and you are wrong, but because you are like me...I took the blame for something I didn't do...(your nasty sin)simply because I love you, so can you.
2. Stop judging him by your warped standards, I made him...see him the way I see him.
3. Just because you don't say it out loud doesn't mean he doesn't hear the negative things you think about him (at first I didn't get this one, but it hit me later, and it will you too)
4. Stop compairing him to other husbands......lusting after what someone else's husband is or is not he is not others, he is yours.
5. Stop blaming him for everything you don't like about your marriage, its your marriage too.
6. Quit looking at his flaws and look at my perfection

I could go on and on with this list, but I will stop here and encourage you all to stop being so closed minded and closed hearted where your spouse is concerned...last night I was moved with such a repentant spirit at the anguish I had caused my husband even when I didn't know it....God will speak to your heart even in the midst of the difficult times in your marriage, touch you with compassion and will cause you to see the heart behind the man if you will allow him to.

Compassion is defined as seeing the suffering of  an individual and being compelled to act in a way that alleviates that suffering.....As the Minister of Evangelism and Outreach, I have had lots of opportunity to act in compassion toward people, it comes easy for me...except where my husband is concerned because I don't ever really look at him as someone suffering....but, last night, I saw my husband suffering.  Suffering to be good enough for me...sexy enough for me, educated enough for me, thoughtful enough for me, ambitious enough for me, wealthy enough for me, spiritual enough for me....and I felt a deep spirit of repentance come upon me.  So I repented to my husband for making such a lame attempt to be God, judge and juror in his life....and I made a convenant with God to work harderm more diligently at being a Wife of Noble Character, a Compassionate Wife...

Today, I woke up this morning at 538am and wrote down faith confessions that I know came from God about my husband and the kind of wife God desires for me to be....and as I replaced all my negative thoughts with Gods positive Word...I felt my heart begin to change all over again.  .Jesus requires us to live a life of compassion..not just with the homeless stranger on the street, or the abused wife at the shelter....compassion, love, grace, mercy...it all begins in the relationship that you  know the best, that is the closest to you....

Today it started in my own marriage.

EM