It's all about ME

I've been watching that show Bridezillas on Netflix and I have noticed that every woman on that show has the same problem.  They all have the "It's all about me" problem. How can one go into a marriage thinking it's all about them and expect their marriage to work?  My husband told me the other day that he only works in the yard because he knows I love to work outside.  I thought that was so sweet, but it made me think about the early years of our marriage when we both thought it was all about us. 

I remember when I would get mad at him because "he should want to wash the dishes for me".  I would do things for him lying to myself and him saying "I want to do this for you". In truth , I was attempting to manipulate him into wanting to do things for me.  It was all about me.  This is so far from the truth in a marriage.  It's all about both spouses; living as ONE. 

Women should submit respectfully and in love; not out of manipulation.  I know now that the reason  my marriage began to fail is because I had lost respect for my husband.  He was not living up to my expectations.  I didn't once think about the question of whether or not he was living up to God's expectations.  Nor did I think about the fact that I was being the kind of wife I thought I needed to be, not what God expects me to be.  Man, I wish I had known.  I was harder on myself than God is.  I expected perfection.  I'm so glad God was patient with me and worked on my heart before it was too late.  Next month I'll have been married for 14 years.  Had I given up when I wanted to, I'd be saying, I've been divorced now for 5 years.

I recently learned that a good friend of mine said she would never be able to listen to me when it comes to marriage because of what I went through.  I was shocked, but not too much.  I only hope that people learn from my mistakes so that they don't make the same ones.  We overcome by the word of our testimony.  Someone who went through similar issues had the heart to share with me and now that's what I want to do for others. 

Marriage is hard, but if you're willing to learn daily, you can have the marriage God intended you to have.

EM
Erica