Thoughts of the day

My husband and I will celebrate 16 years of marriage next week.  What will we be doing to celebrate you ask? Probably nothing.  Not because it's not important to us, but because we realize we don't need a holiday or any special day to make special memories.  My best memories are random days spent together, rainy Saturday Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit marathons, taking walks around the neighborhood or working in the yard together.  We are regular people who have a lot in common, but are nothing alike.  So like most regular people, we have issues that strain our marriage.

So far this year, the strain has been my job, his job, school, and the lack of free time.  Thankfully, he's graduated with his MBA now and I have less than a year before I will be done with my Masters in Counseling.  We've been super focused on our education in an effort to live our dreams in our dream jobs.  We want the best for our kids and don't want them to lack anything.  Lately, I've been questioning the necessity of the "American dream".  We own our home.  We each have decent jobs and drive decent cars. But at the end of the day, none of that matters.  All my children really want to know is that we will be there to cheer them on when they score; that we will be there to comfort them when they've had a bad day and to know that we want to be around them as much as they want to be around us.  So while I dream, I must consider my children.  Does that mean I can't dream or that I must put my dreams on hold? Definitely not.  It simply means my priorities must be considered in making decisions.  I was supposed to graduate in December of this year, and I could do it.  But, it would mean missing volleyball, and soccer games and band concerts or halftime shows.  Those are moments I can't get back if missed.

So going to school, working full time, interning and raising 4 kids is a full load.  But I also have my marriage to tend to.  I think that may be why those seemingly insignificant moments together are so special.  They are sometimes few and far between.  It makes fighting seem like a waste of time (even though we still do).  Tasking time to reflect on what's important has been good for me.  I'm slowing down and making an effort to do what I tell my clients. "Take one step at a time and live in this moment".

EM